seizures

I'm beginning to hate the seizures...while they are a new clue as to what might be going on with Weston, they suck (pardon my French).  They interfere with his learning; they're random; they get instense and cause him to fall (another added worry on top of all the others).  It totally stinks that he can't verbalize what he feels or completely understand what's going on.  I hate having to decide about medications, especially those that carry nasty, potentially life-altering side effects...it's not fun to gamble your kid's health with the possibility of control so that learning can happen.---ARGHHH

Un-Halloween

Weston completely missed out on fun Halloween activities.  He enjoys seeing others dress up more than dressing up himself (although he thought his pizza slice costume was hilarious).  He totally gets into the trick-or-treating, especially if he can do the "knock-knock" - the treats are really an after thought.

I was feeling bad because life got in the way and I chose not to put up any Halloween decor and had no time to go pumpkin picking or carving -- but then Weston caught a bug...surely a virus, I thought at first...but as it dragged into the weekend I figured it had to be something else.  Doctor confirmed strep throat yesterday morning - sealing Weston's trick-or-treat fate...back to the sick room!

Another way autism can get in the way...I never knew his throat hurt; Sunday night he requested 3 crunchy chicken tacos...for goodness sakes, who'd eat hard taco shells with a firey throat?  Guessing how he feels and knowing that even if he answers one of my questions, it's not reliable, ups the worry factor around here!

fashion police

Weston stayed home sick today, and even in that state, he has strong opinions. 

After finally getting a shower this afternoon and slipping into my own comfy clothes, I went to check on him.  He kept making a disgusting face and telling me to "move."  I instructed him to go upstairs; in return, he pushed me away from the stairs and said, 'stay here."  He ran up the stairs and into the laundry room, somewhat frantic.  He said different shirt.  I thought he needed a new shirt for some reason.  He again made a face that clearly indicated "repulsion" and pointed at my plain gray shirt with tiny navy lettering and said, "different shirt."

So now I'm sporting a blue tie dye shirt with bright gold lettering...something I would consider a bit more distracting, but Weston approves and is letting me be in the same room without making him gag.

perspective

Yesterday, Weston's teacher introduced me to another teacher, a grandmother of a 2 1/2 year old girl, who has similar characteristics of Weston.  She had met Weston earlier in the day and was impressed that he stuck his hand out to shake hands upon introduction and encouraged by seeing him work and interact among his peers.

By turning to parents who've been there done that and having the chance to observe individuals with autism who are older than your child, give you a sense of hope.

Especially in the beginning, I believe that's all we're looking for -- HOPE.

So, a big thank you to Weston's teacher for taking the time to make a connection and for giving me a moment of perspective.  Weston has made amazing strides when you step back and look at where he was and where he's at now...

I am reminded that sometimes, not knowing what the future might hold, is potentially a blessing in disguise.

birthdays!

Weston's birthday was yesterday -- he's 8 now.  All things "birthday" are wonderful in Weston's world--he's all about them...the song, the cake & ice cream, the party hats, and the presents.  His only regret is that it's only one day -- saying goodnight, he tells me, "happy birthday, again, morning?"

I found his birthday this year somewhat bittersweet though.  It's a day that reminds me of what could have been...that's not a place I like to dwell often or spend much time, but as a parent I think it's only normal, just kinda heartbreaking everytime you go there.  When I look back, I know Weston's come so far, and I know there's more inside him if we can find the right mode to allow him to show us.  But I'm also reminded of how far we have to go, what fundamental, functional things we still need to learn and that clock keeps ticking...

getting started

I set up this blog months ago...it's been on my "bucket list" for awhile and while I create blogs in my head as I walk the neighborhood, I haven't the time to type them in.  But today, I finally decided to give it a shot.  I'm not sure how it'll work out, but there's too much in my brain and hopefully this will be an outlet.